Splinters
by LadyUranus
Summary: There's the dark, and where the light should be, there's the gray. Yet everyone looks towards him anyway.


Splinters  
  
By HPRules  
  
Shades of gray… once upon a time I believed that humans were such. No light, no dark. No evil, no good. Just various neutralities. I no longer believe such ideas. I was partially correct though, there is no light. But there is dark. All consuming and encompassing darkness. Blackness without the faintest touch of sunlight to shine through. You could scratch at the paint, but only black would come from it. It didn't get darker, or lighter. It was just black.   
This is my discovery, and it will forever be so.   
I am gray, those who befriend me are gray, even some of those who appose me are gray. For instance, Draco Malfoy. Grey… a shade, yes, but gray. His father was gray too, and his house elf the lightest shade of them all. Yet he was gray too. Only one thing in all my world isn't this neutral gray. It almost makes me feel content to know that one thing on this earth does not situate itself between the great opposites. No one in my world could ever speak his name aloud, so great is he feared. Yet they all thought I will save them, that I will shed their light.   
That's all they want, light. They can feel it's warmth, but I never really fills them enough. They look for someone to shed some light upon them and pretend to help him. Say they will help their "hero" their "avenger" and other such nonsense. All the while they just rub their hands and wish for some light. They think I'm their light. But as I said, I am gray, and will forever be. There never was light, just darkness… never ending, eternal darkness.  
********  
"Harry?" from the crack in the door, the light was let in. It shined with the glimmer of light.  
"Oh Harry! I was so worried! What are they going to do? Please tell me you'll be let out of here soon! Harry?"  
She paused. It had taken her long enough to notice that she was getting nowhere by barraging me with questions. I sighed, breathing in bits of the small shat of light which fell on the floor.  
"Harry, I wish I knew what was wrong. You keep pushing me away! All I want is to help you, we're all so worried about you."  
"I haven't seen sunlight for almost a week now. It's nice."  
I could hear her sobbing, but my heart cared little now. I breathed deeply, loving that precious sunlight.  
"Harry, what are they doing to you? What are you doing to yourself?"  
Another breath resounded through the cell. Her words brought memories of sunlight and grass, and friends. Those memories felt far away, and I knew they would not come back soon.  
"You never said hello to me, did you?"  
"Oh Harry! Is that really important? I want you to come back!"  
The sound of her voice echoing against the walls drew the memories closer still. Pain filled my heart, which had done little but feel the bareness of my brooding. My thoughts seemed to pick up speed as I replied,  
"I'm sorry Hermione. I really am. I want to be back with you and Ron too."  
She began to cry, deep ragged sobs. The sunlight through the door became brighter, blinding me momentarily. When my eyes could see again, she was gone. The melancholies returned.  
Once again someone had been taken from my presence at the very sound of crying. They wanted me to stop feeling pity, they wanted me to be emotionless. This was their way of helping. Prepare your champion for the biggest fight he'll ever have be in by causing him so much pain he can no longer feel human emotions. My comprehension of it did no do justice to the true pain I was feeling. My breath was shallow without the sunlight to take in, and my heart felt as though a black shadow had covered it. Permanently.  
******  
Three Weeks Before  
My sobs ran rampant through the dormitory. I couldn't help but feel the full agony of what was happening around me, or the fear of what their dependency upon me would mean in the long run. I was confused, sad, and angry all at once. The most innocent had been killed first, school children, hospital patients, a few wizards caught in the wrong place and unprepared. But most were muggles, plain, ordinary muggles. I wanted to kill those who had hurt so many who had such little reason to be hurt. They had killed those who had done nothing but steal a cookie before dinner, or pull on someone's braid. Yet they were dead anyway. And those who had killed them, massed into thousands now that he was so powerful, were staring at the opposing side with a smile. The weak opposing side, the lightness that would shatter their darkness. It numbered to one. Me. I hadn't ever killed anyone, and even when I had "defeated" any so-called villain, it hadn't been alone. It had never been entirely alone. And this was what they wanted me for. To take all those villains and make them stop smiling, by killing them all. All alone.   
I sobbed harder.  
A knock came on my door. I opened it, wiping my tears away without success.  
I hadn't even blinked before they bound my hands and apparated me away. I heard a faint whispering of a spell just before I lost consciousness.   
When I awoke I was in a white room. The only color in it was me and the brown of the chair I was tied down to. My brain had almost entirely shut down with the sudden shock of the events which had just happened, and slowly they began to work again.   
I struggled against the straps on the chair, but they only got tighter. I gave up.  
"What's going on?" I screamed to whoever could hear me.   
The chair began to move upwards, as a platform rose beneath it. It turned, circling half way. I saw a quick glance of a large glass observation window, and once again a blast of light blinded me. I began to get used to the light, and looked up towards it. A voice came, from where I couldn't tell.  
"Harry Potter."  
It sounded like a bad horror movie, but the pace of my heart had risen so high I scarcely believed I was still alive.  
"You are our champion. You must prepare for battle."  
*******  
Emotions bring out the darkness among some, and the lightness in others. Most emotions form gray, few form black. What do no emotions form?  
I looked at the door. There was a small chunk of wood that had fallen from it. It's splinters were on the floor. 


End file.
